First published in Islamabad Dateline on 8th May, 2011.
Osama Bin Laden’s death left Americans jubilant, members of Al Qaeda and its offshoots more determined but Pakistanis were again left disgruntled and embarrassed.
Confusion enshrouded the already bamboozled streets of Pakistan as hardly anyone has a clue vis-à-vis the operation that killed Osama in Abbottabad.
Being an aeronautical engineer by education I spent hours, trying to research about the technical aspects of Pakistani Air Defence system and American helicopters specifications and a forwarded SMS buzzed my mobile phone:
Obsolete Pakistan Army radar
Can’t detect US Helicopters but can receive star plus
Only Rs. 999 – limited stock available.
We might be a very polarized society, a slightly radicalized one too, we might have 100 problems that we need to find long term solutions to, but we are a very humorous nation and we utter the best of puns and jokes in most troubling of times.
Consider the following, when local and International media is doubting our armed forces capability and demeaning the ‘double-faced’ role of our agencies:
It has been recently revealed that Osama Bin Laden was a visiting faculty at Pakistan Military Academy, where he was teaching Global Terrorism 101
Osama Bin Laden is dead, now can we please grow scruffy beards again?
Things must be really bad in Pakistan when even Osama’s not safe here
CEO post vacant in Multi National Organization. Very attractive salary, security, travel and medical covered. Accommodation in a posh mansion in Pakistani cantonment area. Package also includes paradise guaranteed. Requirement: proven track record in terrorist activities and radical ideology. Contact H.R@alqaeda.com. Interviews will be conducted by General Hameed Full.
As our armed forces are faced towards eastern border, we should tell our enemies not to attack from West? – Javed Chaudary in his show on Express TV
COAS calls it a plot against Army. He is forgetting he only plots against army are in DHA. If only we start training soldiers and not property dealers will we be able to shift their focus from corn flakes and cement towards guarding our borders
Osama Bin Laden’s facebook status has not changed from RIP. It was Resting In Pakistan before.
Cantt say guzartay huway horn ahista bajaen, Pak fouj sou rahi hai.
As Americans attacked his compound, Osama: Fittay moun Raja pervaiz Ahsraf, Amreeki aagay Batti ni ayi.
Wear mospel and sleep tight – Pakistani armed forces are also sleeping right.
Coming soon to a theatre near you! Barack Obama is: “The Turbanator” —”You’ve been Whacked!”. “Hasta la Vista, Bin-y!”
Not too long ago, when cricketing woes struck us, we took it out on Kamran Akmal in a rather witty manner. The wicket-keeper through his performance in world cup agonized the masses but made millions laugh as Pakistanis extracted amusing jokes associated with his name.
The current disappointment in armed forces did not spare Kamran Akmal as jokes circulated in social media, mobile phones and drawing rooms:
A humble message to Americans: Whenever you plan to send in special forces/SEALS in Pakistan, take Kamran Akmal. We will help
Saddam Hussein – checked
Osama Bin Laden – checked
Kamran Akmal – still to go
Many theories can be penned down about what this humor reflects and what social function it serves. Experts consider humor-induced reaction to be very healthy. Not to forget spiritual theories which consider humor to be a “gift from God”. I am no psychologist to pass conclusions on that, but my degree in aeronautical engineering with intense research has revealed:
Pakistani armed forces Kamran Akmalled the intruding US helicopters, for sure.
Syed Ali Abbas Zaidi is an aeronautical engineer by books, an activist by mind, a lover by heart and a wanderer by soul.